Monday, March 14, 2011

Something has been bothering me and if I don't figure this out soon, my brain is going to explode...


I've been super stressed over this lately! I just can't seem to balance my life. I've been through hell over the past 6 months - hospitals, doctors, enough medication to kill a horse, starting my life all over again, following a heart healthy diet, exercising, taking care of my 9 pets, keeping my house germ free, and so on. I could go on all day crying over all of the negative aspects and life changes that have occurred as a result of my heart failure. 

But on a positive note, my heart failure has also brought so many positive things into my life. I realized that life is more fragile than we think and any day could be my last, so when I found the man of my dreams, I held on to him. I've also started spending a lot more time with my friends and family - I am so thankful for their love and support. I started reading and writing again; researched my family tree and found relatives I never knew existed; started scrapbooking all of my photos and found my grandmother's photo albumn; and redecorated my house. Now I'm in the process of building a business blog. I don't think I would have ever done any of this if I didn't need something to occupy my time while I was recovering, but now I'm glad that I did.

But now the problem is balancing all of this. I'm working 3 days a week, and although it's not all that much, it does take a toll on my body. Then I have to keep up the house, do laundry, take care of my pets, and cook healthy meals. At the end of the day, I'm exhausted. Even when I have energy, I can't seem to get everything done in enough time to do the things I enjoy. If I make time for my hobbies, my laundry and dishes pile up and my house is a mess. Ahhhhhhh! It's so frustrating!

It seems like so many of you have full-time jobs and families to care for but still manage to read and review books at lightening fast speeds, update your blogs daily, and still have time left over to do other things that you enjoy. How on God's earth do you do it???


Archimedes said...

Oh man. I think one thing for me is that having kids taught me to find time while doing the most mundane things. I have to find as much time to myself as possible because they demand so much. I read while i dry my hair, grab an extra few minutes while in the bathroom (I know..). I read on commercial breaks while I watch tv, on my lunch breaks, etc. Find small sections of time in your day to do things like that. I write blogs in word over an entire day or two as I have time to add to them... Of course then there is also the not sleeping that helps. I don't sleep very well so I will stay up when I can't sleep and do stuff.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That's a lot to go through and try to maintain some semblance of order and enjoyment in your own life. I went through a life-threatening situation myself about a year and a half ago (got the fun scars to prove it) and it was so difficult. It wasn't heart failure but it definitely took a toll on my life and I applaud you for your tenacity in pushing through and getting into blogging which seems to be something you really enjoy. I don't have a job right now but when I did I was still a single mom with a 9-year-old who needed lots of help on her homework and social life. It really is difficult! I'm not sure how I ever managed it but somehow it all just fell into place as I took it one day at a time. I truly hope that you are able to de-stress some and just enjoy life because even fragility is beautiful. It can be a saving grace too. God bless.

Ms. Blasé said...

I don't think life ever gets perfectly or completely balanced. You just do what you can the best that you can each day and leave the rest for tomorrow. Everything seems to be about prioritizing, multi-tasking and sacrificing. For example, aside from 45 minutes of news, I don't watch TV during the work week anymore. Instead I reserve it for the weekends so that I can use those hours for writing, which is way more valuable to me. I also throw dishes in the dishwasher, read other people's blogs during my breaks at work and pack my lunch everyday so that I can sit down and write during that time.

I am amazed by how much you've done during your recovery!!! Wow! I'll keep your healing in my prayers. In the meantime, please don't forget to enjoy life... which is easier said than done, of course. Especially since we humans have a tendency of getting so caught up in our to-do lists that we forget to make time for what's really important: our relationships... whether they be the one we have with ourselves, our God, our family, friends and/or pets.

Mandy Lum said...

A special thanks to the three of you for commenting on this post. It puts me a bit more at ease knowing that I'm not the only one out there that finds life to be overwhelming. I just get so frustrated some times because I used to be able to get EVERYTHING done - I felt like I was on top of the world. It's just hard accepting that I won't be able to do all of the things that I used to do. But I will admit that I'm much happier now. I enjoy all of the new hobbies I've picked up, especially blogging :)

Thanks for the tips too. Time management is definitely a skill that I need to work on, lol.

Have a wonderful day!

A Journey in Reading said...

Two words: audio books!

There is never enough time in the day for anyone to do everything that needs to be done. The thing is, you have to take time for you and what matters most to you. If the dishes don't get done, they don't get done. If there is an extra load of laundry left, it's left. So what... would you rather spend time doing those things, or spending time with your boyfriend and family?

I see people everyday that are going through the same thing that you are health wise... is it a hard job...absolutely! I have shed many tears with patients and families.... but what matters most to them is that they have that time with each other.

Do what you love, spend time with those you love, and the rest is little stuff.

Mandy Lum said...

Thanks! That little bit of advice makes me feel a lot better. I'm really trying not to sweat the small stuff, but I'm such a perfectionist and it is soooooooo hard to just put things on the side until I have time. I'm finally realizing that I'm not super-woman and that no one can get everything done. Thanks again!

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